I know, this list is turning into a Carpenter-a-thon, but I can’t help he has a slew of kickass films under his belt. This one stars Jamie Lee Curtis once again and here’s the gist of things…100 years ago, a town is to be established as a leper colony for a rich dude and his leper buddies buuuut folks conspire against them, they get lost in a fog and end up crashing on some rocks and they all die and stuff aaand a town ends up being built there with leper guy’s gold from the sunken ship.  But now the town is getting ready to celebrate its 100th bday and the ghost lepers are ready to come exact some revenge! In rolls the killer fog, in come the ghostzombielepers and BOOM people start dyin’.  I really love the way Carpenter creates suspense and atmosphere in his early films, i find it to be borderline brilliant and so much more effective than the  in your face style of film-making that people tend to use today. I love his use of shadows so much! Gah! Anyway. So Carpenter is a master of creating suspense without really showing all that much..I suppose partly thanks to the lack of cgi back then, and this is no different. You don’t need to see more of the glowy-eyed piratezombies than he shows you (HELLO shitty 2005 remake), and the fog itself is relatively cool looking, and everything just works really well.  It’s not really bloody, and it’s certainly not a slasher-type film, but it is great, old school type brooding and spooky horror flick that I recommend highly.

Once the initial tale of Michael Myers was told in the first two movies in the Halloween series, everyone for some reason decided that it was a cool idea to use the Halloween franchise to tell multiple stories, as opposed to having it be Myers-specific. Thus Halloween 3: Season of the Witch was born. A rather shitty movie about a halloween mask company named Silver Shamrock whose masks have a chip or something in them that will be activated on Halloween night and the wearer’s heads will dissolve and spew out snakes and bugs…? Yeah, i know.  The best thing to do with this movie is ignore the fact that it’s technically a Halloween movie and think of it as just another bad but extremely entertaining 80s horror flick. The acting is classic, the fx are 80s to the extreme, and it has a little jingle in it that you’ll be humming for a solid week..plus it has my stamp of approval. What more could you ask for?

Oh the early 80′s, what a glorious time for horror you were..and a bad time to go to camp apparently. Released during the slasher film boom that seemed to follow John Carpenter’s almighty Halloween, Sleepaway Camp is a cute little story about a girl named Angela *whose father and brother tragically die in a boating accident at the start of the film) and her cousin who are going off to Camp Arawak (not to be confused with the equally sinister Camp Crystal Lake) for the summer.  Of course some murderous shit starts going on, and as more and more campers and counselers die, everyone wants to know whoooo is doing the killin’. Sure, we all have our suspicions as to who, what, why, and how and we’re more or less right, as they don’t really make a huge effort to throw the viewer off the trail of what’s up. What they dooo do, haha i said dodo, is give you a big disturbing twist of an ending that you may or may not see coming depending on how close you’ve been paying attention or how horror-saavy you are. Granted, in today’s era of sensationalism and desensitization, the ending seems rather tame, but I’d imagine that back in 1983 it threw folks for a loop.
Since that time, SC has become a cult classic, spawning 2 good-not-great original sequels, the new one coming out next week that i mentioned a few weeks ago, and apparently a couple more after that according to the all-knowing wikipedia. I’m sure all the new ones will be terrible, but hey, ya never know.

Alright, so this isn’t really horror at all, but it’s weird as hell, so it sorta fits the mold..and it’s my website, so I don’t really care what anyone thinks.  I was going to talk about Mulholland Drive, and I still might, but this came first and is creepier, so this got the win today. David Lynch makes some crazy shit..from Twin Peaks to Blue Velvet, so dude is somewhat of a legend when it comes to the bizzare. I’ve gotta tell you right now, I’m not even going to bother trying to explain anything at all that happens in this movie to you. Yeah, it’s that weird. It took me maaany viewings and many wesbites full of people’s theories to get it myself, and quite frankly I don’t think I would even know where to begin. Trust me when I tell you though that this movie is totally worth whatever work you have to do to understand it. I’d be remissed if I failed to mention the soundtrack. From David Bowie’s ‘I’m Deranged’ to NIN’s ‘The Perfect Drug’ to  some well placed Rammstein and Marilyn Manson to Angelo Badalamenti’s killer score, it all fits the film perfectly. ohohoh also it has my absolute favorite Smashing Pumpkins song ever on it…’Eye’! so that’s cool. If you’re still not convinced that you need to watch this movie right now, i give you two words…
Robert Blake
he’s creepier’n hell.

I’ve never been a big fan of American League baseball, mainly because they have a lot of dumb teams and the DH is retarded, but I’ve gotta say I have really enjoyed watching the Rays kick ass and take names this post season. Watching them beat up on the Red Sox has been a thing of beauty, and they have some dudes on that team that are playing out of their freakin minds right now. Matter of fact, I can’t wait for next season’s baseball video game to come out so I can figure out a trade to bring Evan Longoria over to my Astros, because that kid is unstoppable.  Combine that with that douchebag Manny Ramirez’s Dodgers getting beat up by the Phillies and this coming World Series is shaping up to be one that I will be super excited to watch.

TO LEADERS, GOVERNERS, POLITICIANS AND
ALL PEOPLE OF EARTH ….

We wish it to be understood that on the 14th day of your month of October in the year 2008 a craft of great size shall be visible within your skies. It shall be in the south of your hemisphere and it shall scan over many of your states.

We give to you the name of Alabama.

It has been decided that we shall remain within your atmosphere for the minimum of three of your twenty four hour periods.

During this time there will be much commotion upon your earth plane. Your highest authorities will be intruding into ‘our’ atmospherics that surround our ship. This ‘security field’ is necessary for us, as there shall take place a ‘farce’ from those in your world who shall try to deny that we come in LOVE.

KNOW OF THIS

WE COME TO ASSIST YOUR WORLD.

WE DO NOT COME TO TAKE OVER.

WE DO NOT COME TO DESTRUCT.

WE COME TO GIVE YOU HOPE.

We are beings from other planets, who for many eons of your time have been preparing for these days ahead.

We ask each soul that reads of these words to accept in their heart the Truth that lies within. For in that place there is the knowing that this is to take place.

There shall be many who deny. There shall be many who dismiss.

There shall be those who KNOW of this TRUTH.

Which ever you may be … let this be understood.

IT SHALL TAKE PLACE.

We give you the opportunity to capture on screen this particular ship. There shall be no contact in the form that those of your planet would like. For this initial presentation, we shall simply be presenting our ship to you.

We say to you … That shall certainly be enough to comprehend initially.

All kinds of methods shall be carried out in order to try and penetrate through our security barrier, but they shall be to no avail.

Until we can PROVE to you that we come in LOVE, we will not allow the fullness of our visits to be uncovered.

KNOW OF THIS …

THIS IS THE BEGINNING … NOT THE END

Your governments and your media will try to disguise us. This will fail. All avenues have been covered by us.

Your media will have no choice but to portray the TRUTH for it shall be there for all to see.

Friends of earth. Do not be afraid. We beseech you to TRUST that we come to bring the downfall of those who have misintentions for the well being of your planet.

If we do not intervene now … as has been planned for eons of your earth time … then we fear it would be too late.

WE ASK YOU TO ACCEPT US IN LOVE.

FOR THAT IS WHY WE COME.

The sayings that your world have been aware of via your movie screens etc were not merely make believe. We have been planting and watering seeds of Truth on your planet in preparation for these days.

FOR INDEED

WE COME IN PEACE.

Fill your souls with TRUST in that knowledge.

We are your brothers and sisters from other places.

Our technology is far advanced. There are those in high places of ruling that KNOW full well of this. Therefore they know that there would be little point trying to ‘pretend’ that they need weapons to destroy us.

On this day that we appear, we ask you to listen only to your hearts and NOT to the words of those who shall be in great fear of losing their power.

For too long your world has lived under a cloud that most of you have been unaware of. If you were to KNOW the Truths of what has been hidden from you, you would be appalled and in great disbelief.

It is time for your souls to be allowed to be who they are.

The veil is to be removed.

BE OF JOY.

IT IS A TIME FOR THAT.

YOU SHALL KNOW OF THIS AS YOUR HEART ACCEPTS THE TRUE REASON FOR OUR VISIT.

TO BRING YOU AN UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE.  KNOW THIS.

We choose to leave it at that.

Be vigilant. Keep your eyes to the skies.

Keep LOVE in your heart.

WE … THE FEDERATION OF LIGHT … SIGN OFF, GIVING YOU ENCOURAGEMENT AND HOPE AS WE BEGIN THE ASCENSION INTO THE NEW WORLD.

Each one of you has chosen to be here for this ascension. Choose now whether your human form will …

Accept it through LOVE Or Reject it through FEAR.

May the Highest aspect of your soul fill you with Light as you move bravely forward.

Gratitude to each one as they assist us in the cause

With today being October 14 and the day that the aliens were supposed to be showing up here on Earth and all, I figured I’d talk about an alien movie. Ok so say you’re an American scientist up in the arctic parts of the world and there’s this chopper full of Norweeeegians who are flyin around trying to kill this dog and then they crash, would you take in the dog in an attempt to be ‘nice’ or ‘humane’? Well if you would, you’re dumb because obviously the dog was actually a parasitic alien life form who has this whacked out ability to take the identity and exact appearance of anything it’s near.  Then  you’d be stuck in this big mess of not knowing if any of your fellow scientists were actually the alien in disguise until it’s too late and fear and paranoia would very likely get the best of you aaaand it’d just be bad times, man. DONT TRUST ANYBODY! AHHHH!

Patrick Bateman is your everday Wall Street investment banker. He likes the finer things in life, he goes to the only the highest-class clubs and restaurants, lives in a posh pad, he loves Huey Lewis, and by night he kills a shit-ton of people in some pretty gruesome ways. American Psycho, while it might not totally be a horror movie by definition, is close enough for me and undeniably rad.  This dude’s insanity is legitimately frightening, and Christain Bale plays the role impeccably.  While this film is quite obviously a satirical jab at the over the top 80s era of yuppiedom and there are quite a few comically absurd moments, it’s also a chilling story of a guy descending so far into madness that you really have no idea what ridiculous thing is going to happen next.   At times, you’re not even sure how much, if any, of this stuff is even really happening or if the film has twisted into some alternate/subconscious version of Bateman reality..so you know what that means..multiple viewings! Plus, who doesn’t wanna see a naked dude chasing a woman with chainsaw and then dropping it on her as she runs away down a flight of stairs?

Ahhh, John Carpenter’s They Live. Shitty movies don’t get much more awesome than this. This thing stars former pro wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper as a drifter who stumbles upon this big conspiracy involving these aliens who control the world and who are doing so by subliminally sending messages like ‘stay asleep’ and ‘submit to authority’ to us lowly humanfolk. The crazy thing is, the aliens look just like people UNLESS you’re wearing these awesome magic sunglasses things, so really, you or I could be mind controlling aliens and nobody would have any idea. Thankfully though, Roddy Piper has come across a box of the sunglasses and is hell bent on exposing these aliens for what they really are and as he goes about doing so, hilarity ensues. With enough uberwitty one-liners to fuel a small nation, They Live is like a tractor trailer because it…delivers the goods.